More Fair Fighting Guidelines...Continued

9- State the problem as a request, not a demand.
10-Don't use power struggle tactics; ie. guilt, obligation, threats, emotional blackmail, courtroom logic, sacrificing, or hammering away.
11-If you lie, you lose. Make absolutely sure of your "facts." Don't embellish.
12-Simply ask for changes in behavior. Don't criticize their character, ethics or morals.
13-Don't fight over who is right or wrong. Opinions are not necessary. Focus on what will work.
14-Ask if there is anything else that we need to discuss now.
15-Don't guess what you think they are thinking or feeling. Ask; what are you thinking?, or what are you feeling? It's 100% better than guessing wrong.
16-Hold hands, hug if appropriate, look into each other eyes and remember you're partners.
17-If you're angry, express it calmly. There is no need for drama or one-upsmanship.
18-Acknowledge and honor your partner's feelings. Don't deflect them, laugh at them, or freak out. They're only feelings that will subside when accepted, respected, heard and honored.
cont'd tomorrow