Most couples will and do have disagreements and conflicts that may lead to a "fight." When, where, why and especially HOW to fight are major relationship breakers. What follows are what to do and what not to do. Tina B. Tessina, Phd. wrote about this subject matter on Yahoo personals yesterday. I have liberally "borrowed " from Dr. Tessina for your edification.
1- The point is to reach a satisfactory solution, not to win. If you win and they lose....you lose.
2- Don't think you can read their mind. Ask instead. It's not worth it if you're wrong.
3- Don't rehash old problems. Concentrate on solving this one. No dredging.
4- K.I.S.S. method; keep it simple stupid. State the problem, suggest some alternatives then choose the best solution together.
5- Don't dominate. It's a dialogue, not a monologue. Keep it to two or three sentences.
6- Give adequate chances for them to respond.Suggest solutions if they have no ready solution.
7- Practice equality. If it's something that is important for one, it inevitably will be for both.
8- Ask and answer questions honestly and directly.
To be continued tomorrow
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Fighting Fair Guidelines
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1 comment:
Good post, Marty. Thanks for giving me credit. The original article can be found at http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/21238/fair-fight-guidelines
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