LOVE Really IS Blind

When you're in love, you walk around in a haze, blind to other potential mates, says a new study. In fact, for people who are already settled in a loving relationship, an attractive member of the opposite sex is repellant, not alluring. Researchers Florida State University found that while single people were naturally attentive at the sight of an attractive face, people in loving relationships became uncomfortable and looked away. This reflex, which happens before the conscious brain can process an image, is probably an evolutionary adaptation that promotes pair bonding, psychologist Joseph Forgas tells New Scientist. "What these studies suggest is that romantic love serves a very important function, tempering our natural desire to pay attention to, and to continuously seek out, the best available mate."

Rx for Men: More Sex

If men truly want to keep having sex into their old age, their best bet is to have lots of sex right now, says a new study. Finnish researchers found that the more sex men have in middle age, the more likely they are to keep their erectile function as they get older. Men who don't have intercourse at least one a week are four times as likely to suffer ED (erectile dysfunction) than guys who get it on three times a week. Researcher Juha Koskimaki tells CBSnews.com that the male reproductive system is similar to a muscle or to aerobic capacity: If you don't use it, you're bound to lose it. "Regular sexual activity preserves potency in a similar fashion as physical exercise maintains functional capacity," he says.

5 Best Ways to try the Pre-Date

If your time is valuable, and you're both looking to have a more substantial "real" date, why waste it on someone you should have screened on a pre-date.
1-Even before the pre-date, exchange a few words first either by phone, IM, or e-mail so when you meet, at least you're not perfect strangers.
2-Don't overdo it online. It may increase frustration and waste time.
3-When you meet, choose a fun place, where they have a busy happy hour after work.
4-Keep it short and simple, just good conversation. It's getting to know you time.
5-If it really goes well and you both choose to spend more time together, try a simple activity. Go for a walk, check local listings for a art show or festival. Be creative. Look for a different venue so you can get to know each other better.

What is Romantic Love?

By not knowing what love is, romantic relationships causes utmost anxiety. Love is not needing someone or depending on them for emotional satisfaction. Love IS the ability to be comfortably open with someone and have the emotional freedom to enjoy the rewards of their relationship without the lingering fear of losing it.
This feeling also extends to the bedroom. True intimacy is achieved by loving rather than personal gratification. It is a mutual sharing of pleasure and happiness. To truly attain better emotional and physical satisfaction with your partner, you both have to release negative feelings often associated with sex; guilt, self consciousness, yearning for approval, and be free of unrealistic expectations.
By releasing, relaxing and communicating you and your love partner can enjoy an open loving exchange of happiness and mutual enjoyment.

The Art of Letting Go--Release to Relax

Very often we don't realize what we want. Most decisions we make are based on our subconscious desires rather than trying to analyize what we think we want. By releasing the pressures of actively wanting something or someone we make clearer and wiser choices. As an additional benefit, it realeses us from the fear of not getting what we think we want.
So by releasing your fear, anxiety, wanting and self-doubt it's easier to accept a positive outcome, and this positive outcome helps you built confidence in your relationship.

So in summary;.... releasing pressure= improved patience which will allow you to enjoy your loving relationship without fear of losing it.

How to Create a Better Online Dating Profile

1- Be different. Check out the competition. Read dozens of other profiles and see what they say. It's time to be unique. Instead of saying ,"I like movies," you should say "My favorite movie is.... because.... then go on to say the plot has fabulous in depth character development and sophisticated humor which I much prefer to slapstick."

2- Use your profile to narrow your focus to what you want in order to filter out the bad matches. Be more descriptive in terms of age, appearance, and particularly, your interests.

3- Be Positive. Everybody want to be with a winner. Don't use negative words or phrases such as "I hate" or " I'm sick of."

Change your headline and your photo occasionlly to refresh your profile.

Looking for Unconditional Love?

Get a Dog. People use to call the late Leona Helmsley "the Queen of Mean," but boy did she love dogs. When she died last August, she left virtually her entire estate- between 5 billion and 8 billion-to a charitable trust dedicated to the "care and welfare of dogs." According to experts, this gift would total almost 10 times the combined assets of the 7,000 nonprofit groups devoted to animal welfare.
Numerous studies have found that up to one-third of Americans feel more attached to their dogs and other pets than they do to their family and friends. People, after all, are demanding, unreliable, and unpredictable, while pets provide unconditional love.
A man says to his friend, "I have a wonderful wife. When I come home she hugs me, kisses me, and more. In fact I don't know who is happier to see me my wife or my dog." His friend says, "here is a good test; lock both of them in the trunk of your car for an hour, then when you finally open the trunk, see who is happier to see you."

5 of the Best Ways to Win Arguements

1- Choose your battles. Don't pick on everything. Let the little things go. You "WIN," if you lose the battle to win the war, which is a lasting relationship.
2- You "WIN" if you praise your partner for good stuff and pass on chances to criticize. Don't fake it, but if it's real...say it sincerely. "I love your outfit or I really like your hair like that."
3- Say "I'm sorry" when you've done something wrong and say it quickly. Don't argue for hours and then eventually say it to make peace. It will wear you both down.
4- Forgive immediately when offered an "I'm sorry". Let it go. Don't hold grudges.
5- If your partner is upset with you and you realize that it's for a good reason, listen to them explain why they're upset and then apologize. Two goods things; you listened and apologized.

"Winning" is really not winning anything. Forget turf and concentrate on kindness, compassion and good communication.

Dating Game: Want to be Wanted? Become Scarce

Some of the best advice offered to women is to learn what drives men. Men are basically hunters and gatherers that cherish the chase before capturing the prey. Knowledgeable women know how to keep the man she wants in the race by not letting him capture her "too soon". The old adage of "A man chases a woman until she catches him," works. Don't always be available but show him how enjoyable your life is. He'll ache to be part of you and your fabulous life.
The good news is that it also works for men. That's the basic reason many women like "bad boys". They're cool, unpredictable, not always available and there's a hint of danger. You don't have to be a bad boy to learn from them. Learn the "Scarcity" rule. After a few good dates you become a wanted commodity. Once you're there, keep your status by becoming scarce. Not always available. When she calls, tell her you're busy even if you're not. Timing is everything. If you're too aloof, she'll think either you have another girlfriend or you are losing interest in her. It's like creating demand, similar to the way it's done in the video gaming business. Keep the demand going by limiting the supply. It's available but not always, sometimes you have to wait. The novelty will wear off but you've learned how to date someone on a regular loving basis.

Safety Update on Online Dating

Current news is full of stories about attacks, frauds, and rapes that you must learn how to protect yourself. Use only secure online dating sites that has https://, not http:// without the small "s". It assures that your payments and personal details will remain secure........Also:
1- Initially, never reveal your phone #. It's a recipe for crank calls and worse. Use e-mail until you meet someone in person and feel secure with him.
2- Initially, never reveal where you live. Meet him for the first time getting there by yourself.
3- Choose your photo, and write your profile carefully. Don't reveal too much about your private life, and your home life. Don't show your car license plate.
4- Don't divulge your daily routine, like what time you go for a jog, what gym you belong to or where you work.
5- When you meet, do it in a busy well lit location. Tell a friend who you are meeting, where you are meeting and have them call you 1/2 hour into the date. If all is O.K. say wrong number. If not, then say it's a family emergency and leave. Be careful. Be safe.

10 Signs that he's Ready to Commit

1- He pursues you. Calls regularly and wants to see only you.
2- He is financially secure and can afford to take care of you and start a family.
3- He takes care of you when you're sick.
4- Most of his friends are either married or getting engaged.
5- He is willing to wait for intimacy. He is willing to be your friend first.
6- He says we instead of me.
7- He really enjoys being in a monogamous relationship. Doesn't complain about needing space.
8- Gets to know your family and friends.
9- He doesn't need excuses or cross examine you; where were you?, why didn't you call?
10- Not afraid of compromise. Asks your opinion. Willing to meet half way.

7 Rules to Avoid the Wrong Guy, Find the Right Guy

1- Trust your intuition. It will help you make the right decisions about guys.
2- Be approachable. Smile. Make eye contact. These are powerful flirting tools that let a man know you are interested.
3- Be real. A woman who is authentic brings out the best in men.
4- Give him a chance. He may be shy or nervous at the start. Allow him to call, ask and pursue.
5- Don't fanaticize too much in the early stages of dating; it might trigger his recoil radar.
6- Stop worrying while you're waiting for him to call. When he does, don't cancel your plans.
7- Learn to love your own company first and a man will pursue you to be a part of your life.

Women: 3 Ways that Help and 3 Ways that Hurt

The top three elements for success with dates are:

1)- Self confidence, he'll chase you to become a part of your life.
2)- A caring upbeat nature; people will want to be around you.
3)- An approachable presence; you make people feel good.

Here are the 3 major problem areas:

1)- Unsuitable choices in men; no bad boys and no projects.
2)- Negative attitude. It's contagious, if you show it, he feels it.
3)- Dysfunctional relationship behavior; too clingy, too possessive, too demanding.

Speed Dating Do's and Dont's

Speed Dating is getting HOT. The number of companies with their online Web sites are growing. Here are a few to visit; Hurrydate, Cupid/Pre-dating, Fastlife, 8minuteDating, SpeedDating.

Speed Dating Things to Do:
1- Think of good questions to ask beforehand.
2- Dress well. Good grooming counts. Never have another chance to make a good 1st impression.
3- Be Cool. You're only looking for a second date. Not your future spouse. Be patient.
4- Admit fears. It's O.K. to say it's the first time speed dating for you.

Speed Dating No-No's:
1- Don't have a friend sit next to you, someone who is tempted to listen, comment and help out.
2- Don't drink before hand. Acting drunk is stupid, immature, and not funny.
3- Expect them to do the work, or worse, talk continuously not allowing them to get a word in.
4- Act nasty-Behave yourself, act appropriately, a friend of theirs may compare notes about you.
5- Compare notes with others. Don't share your impressions about anyone. Keep it private.

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman.... Why?

One of the apparently deeply in love show business couples have decided to go their separate ways. Jimmy and Sarah shared a zany sense of humor, many interests and many mutual friends. It all seemed to be working so well. It's been 5 years and now, according their respective publicists, it's over. What could have gone wrong? We can speculate, but that won't tell us what really caused the break.
It's is the times we live in? People just get bored with each other. In show business there is always someone new coming along who could test your commitment to each other. Maybe they were talking about having children and religious differences may have played a role in the children(s) rearing. A couple of generations ago, our grandparents married for love, convenience, security and a mutual desire to raise a family with the "right" spouse. Their lives were so busy and full with work, sacrifice, extended families that the attitude was "if you had problems, you just worked them out". Divorce is no longer a sin to be frowned upon. It's so commonplace that breaking up is now the norm. So keep your eyes and ears opened so we can find out what happened to Jimmy and Sarah. I was rooting for them to make it. Too bad.

Singles,Try Free Web Sites For Dating Destiny

Why do singles pay for online dating sites looking for romance when there are FREE sites to also try? If you believe that paying for online dating service (s) is the only way to go, I have a suggestion. If it is free, and all you have to do is spend the time necessary to fill out your profile, why not try it(them)? One that I've heard about is called www.plentyoffish.com. As of today it's still absolutely free. There are rumors around that because they have been so successful; 8 Million members and 45 Million visitors per month, they have moved into larger space and hired several people. So they'll have to start charging to cover the new overhead. Try it today, you may get in under the wire.
I suggest you do your own research. Go to the FREE dating sites on the Internet search engines( Google, Yahoo, MSN, etc.), fill out your profile (honestly) and join.
Write in and let us know how you've done.
Here are a couple of others to check out
http://www.datehookup.com/
http://www.true.com/

GOOD LUCK

How To Tell If Your Partner Is Addicted to Porn?

1- Spends lot of time on line. Defensive about porn use on computer.
2- He doesn't seem attentive. He is distant and preoccupied. Not emotionally intimate.
3- Lacks interest in sex and seems distant and unresponsive.
4- When you do have sex he is uncharacteristically rough with you.
5- You notice changes in his demeanor and moods. He is not sleeping well. He used to be calmer.
6- He is constantly nit-picking your appearance.
7- He is not as social as he used to be. Excuses himself from activities using lame excuses.
8- Not getting straight answers from him. Using white lies or worse.

Love Maximization: Today # 1 Dating Problem

Yesterday The Huffington Post printed an article authored by Karen Salmansohn. I enjoyed reading it and would like to share the essence of it for your information.
Do you feel you are always looking for something better; better job, better place to live and a better relationship? Do you still find yourself checking out Internet dating sites in hopes of finding a bigger, better, more perfect catch? You may just be frustrating yourself.
So what's the cure for this situation that makes us often look for the "greener" grass.
1- Recognize that being a "love maximizer" actually minimizes your chances of finding a healthy happy relationship.
2- Next time you're tempted to two-time, think thrice, reminding yourself that many people look good from faraway and will have many flaws when viewed up close.
3- No one person is ever going to have every single thing you need. Your goal is to find the person that has the most important things that you need. Make a list of the 3 relationship deal breakers and the 3 things your partner must have to make you happy.
4- Once a week, spend a night luxuriating in your partners 3 fantastic must-have's and let it be known how much you appreciate him or her. Soon you'll turn yourself into a love energizer, instead of a love maximizer!

5 More Things to Make Great gals say Good bye

1- Rude to waiters. It's a real significant "tell". If he shows a lack of respect for a working person, he probably dislikes pets and children too. Besides you never mess with someone who feeds you.
2- Very nervous. Jumpy, has schpilkus (ants in his pants), taps silverware on table as if he's a drummer, makes little or no eye contact. If you see something worthwhile in him, try a second date. Maybe he just has a case of the first date nerves. Not condusive for attraction and romance.
3- El Cheapo. Either offers to split the bill. He says, "I have a rule that first dates are dutch treat". Or claims he left his wallet at home. "Hon, pick this one up, I'll get the next one."
4- Mr. Braggart. Talks continuously about himself; who he knows, where he's been and what he has. People who have to brag are a personality type that need to overcome their inherent insecurities by stroking their own egos.
5- Salesman. Makes you feel like you're being sold something. It's more like a business meeting than a date. This guy won't change, he is a salesman and probably will always be hustling you.

Turn Offs That Make Great Gals Say Good Bye

1- Unkempt/Sloppy. If he shows up with dirty nails, dirty shoes, and/or dirty clothes it's a dirty shame because he's history.

2- Too touchy-feely. If he acts as if you're there to be touched inappropriately you have to set him on the straight and narrow. No touch, no feel, no future.

3- Stereotyping you quickly. Oh you're that kind of woman. Or, I know lots of women like you.

4- He's still married. He told you he was single, but he will be separated soon. Do you want to wait? How would you really know if he truly became available? I wouldn't wait for a lier.

5- Not paying attention. He always seems distracted. Calls and answers his cell phone. Looks around the room. Interrupts you continually. He doesn't need you, he has himself.

5 More Turnoffs That Make Goodguys Say Goodbye

1- Too Clingy. She is so insecure that she absolutely needs you to fulfill all her needs.

2- Constantly talks about her bad dates. "Woe is me". So many "Dates from Hell." She doesn't realize that not only is she annoying, but she is the common denominator in all these bad dates. Makes you think that maybe they were negative reactions to her.

3- High Maintenance. Buy me, take me, show me, do for me, me, me, me. Unless you're a masochist, it's time to say goodbye.

4- Conceited braggart. Has an unrealistic value of her own importance. Feels she's above everyone else. Brags about who she knows, what she has, where she's been. Who cares? Do you?

5- Game player. Annoying tease, flirts with other guys, gives deceptively vague answers to your questions, likes to cause confusion and has some type of "crisis" every day. It's all about her.

Turnoffs that make Goodguys say Goodbye

1- Misleading Internet profile. I don't know anyone who likes a lier. Tell the truth, it will appear.
2- Continually late. I don't know about you, but I think someone who is always late doesn't care enough to respect you. I think it is a character flaw whereby those tardy people are either so incompetent getting their act together on time or they think the world revolves around them.
3- Chatterbox. A conversation should be a dialogue not a monologue. If you can't get a word in edgewise, you're really not needed. Maybe she's nervous, if rest is O.K. a second chance is fine.
4- Marriage bound. She talks about commitment, futures, children, and being together forever way to early in the relationship.
5- Cross examiner. The first date turns into the third degree. She asks detailed, probing, intimate, personal, questions instead of the simple getting to know you ones. Asking about favorite movies, music, viewing and participant sports, hobbies and general information are perfect for the getting to know you date. The heavy ones about politics, religion, former relationships and personal baggage can wait a couple of dates down the road.

Should She Approach Him

Here's a scenario I recently heard about. Three women friends went to a nice restaurant for dinner. Two of the three women was single. They choose have a cocktail in the bar area until their table was ready. They observed a single man sitting at the bar apparently waiting for someone. One of the single women told her friends that she thought the man was attractive looking, wasn't wearing a wedding ring, and his date must have been late because he kept checking his watch and turning around frequently towards the door. Her two friends suggested that she walk over and tell the man what she surmised and hand him her number to call her if he is looking for a date in the future.
She said that's totally inappropriate. A lady doesn't approach a man unless they are properly introduced. "What would he think of me if I spoke to him in the manner they suggested?"
What do you think? What we might have here is an example of generational attitudes. In my opinion, I think a younger woman would be more inclined to approach the man and tell him what she observed, hand him her number and ask him to call so they can get to talk about getting together. Post your comments.

5 Signs it was a Great First Date for Him

1- She actually showed up. Many men who have approached women, chatted with them, asked for their number, and set a date have been stood up. It's part of the process.
2- She laughs a lot during the date.
3- She offers to split the bill. Very often first dates are "Dutch" treat especially if nothing is discussed in advance concerning payment. She recognizes there is no such thing as a free meal.
4- She sees her girlfriends and insists they come over to meet you. A very good sign....you've passed the "good enough to be seen with in public test."
5- At the end of the date you reach out to give her a warm hug, she holds your face, pulls you in and gives you a full on kiss on the mouth.

5 Signs it was a Great First Date for Her

1- She was very excited to go out with him. It really starts out well when he shows up on time, dressed appropriately, well groomed, and with a big smile on his face.

2- He spent time thinking about what to do on the date. He got some likes and dislikes from her up front and planned accordingly.

3- He picks up the check without hesitation.

4- He maintains eye contact throughout the date. No looking around the room glancing at others.

5- You both can't wait to see each other again.

3 Best First Date Tips Turns into 16 Suggestions

1- Be Yourself. Have the attitude that there are many fish in the sea and this is just a date. Relax

2- Dress appropriatly. Be neat and well groomed. Ask open ended questions about your date. No politics or religion discussions on the first date. No crass humor.

3- Don't try too hard to impress. Always tell the truth. Be the real you. Try to make your date comfortable, keep eye contact, listen and pay attention. Don't interrupt. Enjoy the time together.

Best Compliments for a Woman you Already know

1- If she is wearing something short, say"Nice Wheels" or "what beautiful legs you have."

2- Spontaneously say, "you know you're gorgeous."

3- When in a group or crowd, whisper in her ear, "do you know you're the hottest girl in the room."

4- After an interesting, stimulating conversation, say "do you know you're the smartest girl I ever dated."

5- "You are really an incredible kisser."

6- Most women are worried about the size of their backside. A classy compliment would be. "Sorry I fell behind but I just can't keep my eyes off your beautiful butt."

Some of the Best Compliments from a Man

I asked many women "What was the nicest thing a man ever said to you?" Most of them said it depended on when in the relationship it was uttered. If you just met someone, a comment about her body may be inappropriate. So save the physical observations until she is comfortable with you. Generally speaking, complimenting a beautiful woman on her looks is ineffective. She's heard it many time before and it makes you one of the crowd.

Here are a few to use early on:

1- You really smell great

2- That looks good on you.

3- You're different than the other girls I've met.

4- You really have a lot of class.

Final Group of Do's and Dont's for Online Dating

1- Don't take it personally if it doesn't work out for either of you. You both still have lots of choices and eventually, through persisitence, things will work out for the best.

2- If there is any chemistry at all, I suggest giving him another chance. Maybe he was nervous or just didn't do well until he gets to know you better. I suggest you agree to a second date. Keep the communications flowing and you'll get to know each other without the first date pressures.

3- Don't agree to a first date unless you are comfortable with him. Go with your instincts..if it feels wrong online, on the phone, or at the meet and greet, it probably is.

4- Don't let computer dating take over your life. Keep busy. Don't obsess over dating sites and potential matches and why someone didn't return your e-mail to them.

5- Be self confident about online dating and you'll have a better chance of meeting Mr.Right.

6- People love people who exude self-confidence.