More Do's and Don'ts for Online Dating

1- Be choosy about which Dating sites you select. Use the ones that specialize in compatibility matches and shared interests.
2- Safety first. When you agree to meet for the first time, don't let him pick you up at home. If the date doesn't workout for you and his is, at best annoying you, and at worst, a stalker you don't want him to know where you live. Choose a popular, well-lit place, drive there yourself or have a friend take you. It's important for a friend or loved one to know who you are meeting, in addition to where and when. About a half-hour into the date, have your friend call your cell. If all is O.K. say sorry wrong number. If you want to get out of there, listen for a while, say "Oh, no" and tell him you have to leave immediately for an emergency. Stay sober, and always watch your drink. That's right, never let it out of your sight. Nothing can be put into your drink if you're watching.. No matter how well it goes, don't leave with him. Use your intuition.
3- Be careful but don't let fear immobilize you. Just be cautious until your intuition tells you that he is O.K.

Some Do's and Don'ts for Online Dating

1-Create a great profile. Use a professional photographer for a "glamour shot" to show you at your best possibly doing what you enjoy. Also try to get help developing a "hook" for a grabber headline. Try to keep it upbeat, focusing on your values, interests and hobbies. Don't mention prior relationships or negative dating perceptions. Be clear about looking for someone who is emotionally stable who shares common interests.
2- It's O.K. for a woman to contact a man especially if he has something in his profile that you find interesting. Just contact him once and wait for him to reply. No reply means no interest.
3- Don't get ahead of yourself by telling too much about about yourself too soon. Be cool. Go slowly.

Best Behavior For Men Meeting Strange Women

Walk calmly and approach her with confidence. Too slow is wimpy and too fast is threatening.

If you're with a group, separate yourself so you don't look like you're part of a "pack".

Dress well for a strong first impression. Women like well groomed men in cool shoes.

Come alive; be fun, funny and provocative. Use your brain to be smart and confident.

A Few George Carlin Rememberances

We lost a true comedic genius..Laugh along and remember a few of his finest observations:

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break in to clean them?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?

And A Child Shall Lead Us..........

All my previous Blogs have been about Love, Dating, Romance, Being Single, First Date, and Courtship, etc. Now for a change of pace, I suggest you spend about 6 minutes to watch a young Canadian Teenager addressing a United Nations Forum. Look it up on You tube.com or go to
http:///www..youtube.com/watch?v=tF9K0zJi8m

Alternative Approach to Issuing Ultimatums

Ultimatum, or; last offer, final proposal, last chance, demand or warning. I don't know about you, but most people get angry and defensive when given an ultimatum.
Now here's a better way to handle it....Calmly explain your needs and expectations. Use nice but straight-foward intelligent language.
So, instead of saying "There better be a ring on my finger by year's end or I'm otta here."...Say
"I love what we have and I enjoy every moment we spend together. But, I'm not sure what your plans are for us in the future. I want you to know that I'm no longer interested in an open ended dating just for fun relationship. I'm looking for someone I can share my life with, get married and have children. I want to start a dialogue with you so I know where you stand. So, I'll be clear, if we're not on the same page, I'm going to consider dating other people who are open to the idea of settling down."
It's not an ultimatum, but it a clear assertion of your intentions . It's a statement of your true feelings that are direct and to the point. In Summary...no threats and no beating around the bush.

5 Reasons Ultimatums Don't Work

1-He might not have made peace with the decision you pushed him into, ie."marry me or else."

2- He feels uncomfortable doing what you want him to do, ie."Stop talking with your ex."

3- You shouldn't force him into major decisions if he's not ready, ie. " O.K., we're engaged."

4- You can't change someone or have control of their actions unless they want to buy in, ie. O.K. , I'll do what you want, just stop bugging me. All you achieved is a short term temporary win.

5- What if he calls your bluff, are you ready for him to leave. Always consider the worst case scenario.

Why Nice Guys Lose Out To Cocky Guys

A cocky guy is perceived as being a stronger confident male with more VALUE. How? He is in a word, C O O L. He doesn't appear to invest it all; his entire being, his ego, and self-worth in what a woman's response or reaction to him might be. He's not all over her, gushing with compliments. He's not praising her looks and isn't readily available to her. He doesn't give too much, and he comes across knowing that if the woman says no to him, he's not going to fall apart. He seems to take pleasure in his what-ever attitude.
If he asks her out and she says no...that's O.K.with him, he conveys the attitude that "I'm a busy guy with lots of exciting things going on and lots of other options." Now that she rejected him, she has second thoughts. "Wow, this is a self-confident guy. There is something very exciting about a man like this. I'm going to flirt back and ask him out."
Just as men like the chase, women like the challenge of why he is so aloof and not making a fuss over her like most men do. She is curious and will go after what she can't figure out.
So men and women alike..don't be too easy, too available, too needy....be cool.

5 Minute Abs--The only ab exercise you'll ever need

Tight, toned, tummy, fast. Here's how; do bicycle crunches, they work for both abs and obliques.
Lie on your back, hands behind your head, elbows out. Lift shoulder blades and left leg 6" off floor. As you bring your right knee towards your chest, you twist your torso so your left elbow barely touches your right knee. Then switch sides and touch your left knee to your right elbow. Try two sets of twelve reps. Do this 5 minute exercise daily and you will lose inches off your waistline as you tighten your flabby abs.
I'm certain you will be not only pleased with all the admiring glances you will be getting, but you will love the way your clothes fit and the sexy way you look.
Try it and send in your comments .

Are you a communicator or lecturer?

Communication is a two way process involving an exchange of ideas. If it's only your way, you'll frustrate the other person and possibly yourself if you sense the other persons lack of involvement as disinterest rather than an ability to get a word in.
Simple Rules for Good Communication
1-Be prepared. Organize your thoughts in your mind before sharing.
2-Good communication is collaborative, not competitive.
It's a two way process involving an exchange of ideas. Poor communicators are often lecturers or teachers by nature. They want to tell you what they know and often don't realize that you already know what you are saying to them.
As a general rule they don't listen well and interrupt often.
Be diplomatic, tell them how you feel. See if they can learn to make it a two way street.

Words of Wisdom and Humor

Sensible Observations--Some new, some old, all appropriate.
1-When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
2-My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim"---- Paula Poundstone
3-I think I know how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, "Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west."----Richard Jeni
4-If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead-- Johnny Carson 5-Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.----Paul Rodriguez
6-My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and it's the law----J. Seinfeld 7-Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same----Oscar Wilde
8-You can say any foolish thing to a dog and the dog will give you a look that says. "My God, you're right!!I never would've thought of that!"----Dave Barry

Have a Pity Party and get over the Break-up

Breaking up is hard to do....Most of us have been shown "the gate" and told it was over. Now we have two choices: Get over it quickly or wallow in self pity for an extended time. What did I do wrong? What should I do differently the next time? Will there be a next time? Stop. Enough.
I suggest having a "Pity Party" with all you closest confidants and have closure. Drink, laugh, cry, reminisce, drink some more and leave it all behind you. It's time to get on with the rest of your life.
You're going to do better in the future . You will meet that someone special and live happily ever after. Well, at least it's the correct attitude to start with.
It's very hard to advise someone without being a fly on the wall during the last relationship, but here's a good guideline to remember. Communicate your needs better the next time, and encourage your partner to do the same. It will make you understand each other better and lessen that feeling of disappointment. It also smooths the path to better intimacy. Good Luck
Let's hear some success stories. Join in, send your comments.

Why Certain Guys Don't Talk

1- They are intimidated. They are the shy types.

2- They need to decompress. Either from work or sports or travel, ....or a binge.

3- Men are usually more comfortable with actions rather than words. The strong silent type.

4- They feel uncomfortable being put on "the spot".

What else men should do to get a second date

1- Never look at other women on your first date. Guaranteed you will be caught.

2- Compliment her mind and sense of humor.

3- Compliment her on the way she looks. Just don't over do it and stay away from "body parts".

4- Make the next date an activity date. Park, beach, picnic, tennis. Seems like you are a couple.

5- Be positive, funny, and fun to be with. Don't complain or bash ex's.

What men should do to get a second date

1- Ask at the end of the first date say; "I had a great time, I'd love to see you again."

2- Call, text or E-mail the next day.

3- When on the first date, challenge her mind. Don't agree with everything she says. Women don't like wimps.

4- Don't expect or try to force intimacy or sex.

5- Listen to what she says and develop a dialogue, not a monologue. Nobody likes a braggart.

Meeting your Soulmate even if you're a Single Mom

1- You see a tall, dark, handsome stranger nearby as your child is throwing a tantrum. You ask, "were you like that as a child?" Flirt while you child has a tantrum.
2- Same guy walks by while you and your child argue about eating cereal. Ask stranger "what cereal would you choose?" Try to engage the stranger in the discussion.
3- Your child starts playing with another child in the park. The child may be with his single Dad. Observe and approach the dad for a future play date.
4- When you do on-line dating only show a photo of yourself. The family situation discussion can come at a later time, like after a successful first date.
5- Your on-line dating profile should reflect your tastes and passions, not your duties as a Mom.

Top 5 Mistakes Single Men make while Dating

1- Don't show off or try to impress too much.

2- They don't listen while she is talking.

3- They are not chivalrous. He should pay and make sure she gets home safely.

4- Too wishy-washy. Men should take the initiative after finding out if she has any dislikes.

5- Tells her he will call her and doesn't.

5 More Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating

6- Don't choose a date based only on a photo. Profiles also count.

7- Do move the communication from E-mail to phone. It speeds up the process.

8- Don't disclose where you live or any other personal information.

9- Do take things slowly and meet first in a well lit public place.

10-Don't behave like a little kid in a candy store full of online temptations.

For Her-- 5 Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating

1- Do learn Dating Profile Lingo such as Cuddly means Chubby.

2- Don't assume his photo is up to date.

3- Do post a current photo of yourself.

4- Don't fall for corny come on lines, like "I love to take sunset strolls on the beach."

5- Do brush up on your math to match his likes and dislikes with the correct decade.

Additional Hints
a- Subtract 3" from his published height.
b- Double his weight.
c- Halve his income.
d-Add a decade to his age

5 More Secrets To Keep Her Happy

6- Keep her laughing, and laugh at her attempt at humor.

7- When you disagree, fight fairly. Never say never or always, they're usually exaggerations.

8- Get angry when defending her and the family in confrontational situations. She'll feel safer.

9- Confront problem situations with her and play to win to gain respect. Discuss solutions to ensure better communications, compromise, and compassion. Never go to bed angry.

10-Become more touchy. Non-sexual touching. Caress neck, arms, mini-massage, also O.K. in public. Not lusty or aggressive, but loving and affectionate shows you care, and can't keep your hands off her. It will become lusty time later.

5 Simple Secrets to keep her happy.

1- Have a good greeting style. Focus on her eyes. Smile. Hug.

2- Ask for her input and advice. Accept her help, thoughts and ideas.

3- Try to get close. She needs you being close to feel intimate and sexual.

4- Try to help around the house. Many women find it sexy when their man does the dishes.

5- Don't try to "fix" her. You'll make her feel imperfect. Leave her alone, growth happens.

5 Forbidden Phrases for Men-- and 3 Magic phrases

1-Take it easy honey, just relax. She doesn't want to relax, she wants to talk, NOW !!!
2-I Love You (said during a fight). For most women, fighting is serious business.
3-It's up to you. She wants a man with a backbone that will take the lead and make a decision.
4-You knew I was this way from the beginning...True, but she hoped you'd change.
5-Nothing. Yes, nothing is worse than the silent treatment. She wants resolution, you want out.

Magic words or phrases:
1-Just tell me everything.
2-You are just so beautiful.
3-Sorry. It was all my fault.`

First Date---How to approach any stranger

In the wonderful world of Love, Dating, Romance, Courtship, Engagement, Marriage and Happiness, the first step is to meet the right person. You can join Internet Dating sites, talk to everybody you know to try to fix you up, or hire a dating service. What is missing from this list is the good old fashioned doing it yourself. First, you know what the person looks like and that's what attracted you to them in the first place, secondly you can have a conversation with them so you can tell right away if they are bright and funny. All you have to do is develop enough confidence to approach A N Y stranger. Poof, I just gave the POWER to you. Now you have the ability to talk to anybody. It's really that easy. You don't need any pick up lines, most of them are so obvious and corny, it embarasses me even thinking of them. Here's what you need to do:
Say for example you are in a Starbucks and you spot someone who you would like to meet.
1-Observe what they are doing. They just ordered a double expresso.
2-Act on your observation, "Rough night last night or tough day ahead?" Opens the conversation
3-Listen carefully to their response and take their lead. The rest is up to you, just be yourself!

Male daters advice: 8 ways to handle dating

1-Take a risk-Be unconventional, take a chance. Women like confidence and spontaneity.
2-No inappropriate time to pick up a guy. You never know when you'll meet "The Guy." Smart, successful daters seem to find unusual places to talk to a stranger. Be adventurous.
3-Play the field and the law of averages. Date several men at the same time. Now I didn't say to be promiscuous and sleep with more than one man at a time. "Just because I haven't found the perfect one, doesn't mean I can't have fun with some of the O.K. ones."
4-Date for fun- No need to assess a man's marriage potential quickly. Take time to know them.
5-Do you really want a project. "He would be perfect if I can get him to change the way he..." A fixer-upper takes lots of time and usually doesn't work out.
6-Don't fear competing with other women for a date. It sharpens your skills. You learn what works, so when it's for the big prize, you'll be ready.
7-Don't take rejections personally. If he turns you down there is something wrong with him, not you. Build that confidence girl!!!
8-Don't waste time brooding over a rejection. Pick yourself up and "find another guy."

The Obama's fist bump

On June third, that special day when Barack Obama announced to a large enthusiastic crowd in St.Paul Minnesota, that he is the Democratic Party Designee, he and his wife Michelle did a little touching gesture with their hands that many people questioned.
What did they do? What does it mean? Why did they each make a fist and touched the fist of their spouse?
My Tennis group has been doing the same thing for well over a year. I guess we copied it from athletes that we've seen on television; golfers do it with their caddies, ballplayers do it with their teammates and friends do it when saying hi to friends. It is a new form of greeting . A new way to say Congrats, job well done. But when the Obama's did it, I thought it was more. I felt that it was a sign of affection of two very close people who have a loving bond between them. I think that fist bump said to me "Job well done and I Love You."
In a similar situation when Tipper and Al Gore showed their own sign of affection with a long passionate kiss (longer than many people felt was appropriate), some people also made a comment. What do you think? Were both O.K. Was one more appropriate? Share your thoughts.