Words of Wisdom and Humor

Sensible Observations--Some new, some old, all appropriate.
1-When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
2-My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim"---- Paula Poundstone
3-I think I know how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, "Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west."----Richard Jeni
4-If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead-- Johnny Carson 5-Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.----Paul Rodriguez
6-My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and it's the law----J. Seinfeld 7-Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same----Oscar Wilde
8-You can say any foolish thing to a dog and the dog will give you a look that says. "My God, you're right!!I never would've thought of that!"----Dave Barry