A Few George Carlin Rememberances

We lost a true comedic genius..Laugh along and remember a few of his finest observations:

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break in to clean them?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?